Charlie Tildman – Betrayal

User: Charlie Tildman
Heart Rate: 101 BPM
FML Magellan, Day 1, A-403

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My family is going to hate the choice I’ve made, but they needed to know! This morning, after boarding the ship, I sent a comm explaining to them that I didn’t want to deceive them, but felt it was necessary given their passionate opposition to the mission I am undertaking. I’m on the Federation Mapping Lightship (FML) Magellan, en route to an uncharted solar system. They’ll surely view this decision as me abandoning them and the cause they believe in. The cause they raised me to believe in. They’re so caught up in the Anti-Colonization Movement (ACM) that I don’t think they’ll be able to see what I’ve done as a pragmatic choice. All I wanted was to be part of the colonizing effort. Not because I support it, but because I distrust mankind. Do we, as a species, have the ability to colonize a new planet without wreaking total havoc? It seems unlikely. But if I can play a role in preventing that seemingly unavoidable outcome, I will. 

This isn’t exactly the mission I was hoping for—the FML Magellan is a cartography vessel, so we’ll be exploring the galaxy in search of viable host planets or simply celestial bodies from which we can harvest resources—but it’s not bad for my first assignment. It’s also a great way to keep tabs on where colonization is headed. It’s going to happen regardless of whether Earth can be saved, so why not try to get ahead of the damage we’ll cause?

When I chose to pursue an engineering degree at the Military Academy of Science and Technology (MAST) my parents were upset. I can’t imagine their devastation when they realize I’ve “betrayed” their cause and lied to them about it. They’re so stuck in the past, always talking about manual farming and cooking! I grew up without any androids or standard of living tech! None. But now, aboard the FML Magellan I can live the way I want. Free from guilt, from arguments about droid rights or the loss of traditional work ethic, free to be myself among other people who live in this star age!

I’m a bit intimidated by the other crewmembers. I read some bios, and everyone so far seems to have grown up with so much access to tech. I know fusion reactors, lightship cores, and starships inside and out, but even after years of study, I interact with tech differently from people around me. Captain McLellan, my professor of light speed principles, said that my reverence for tech makes me better at my job. Even if that’s true, I wish I could imitate the nonchalance that others have when interacting with sophisticated AI. My first time working with an ERAI (Engineering and Robotics Artificial Intelligence), I was totally starstruck.

I’ll admit that my manual-crazed family’s habits have already been useful. There was a computing error in the uniform droids, and most of the crew’s uniforms were made with the wrong specs. People are walking around with sleeves and pants that are too long, their jumpers too tight. I saw a crewmember unloading some equipment for the cartographer and his pants split right down the middle. The single droid aboard who has altering/tailoring software had so many work orders pending in the first five hours of the voyage, the poor thing shorted out and is under repair. Meanwhile, I took out the sewing kit my mom snuck into my duffel the night before I “left for the mountains” and made the necessary alterations to my blues.

I thought I would hate having to write this log, probably something to do with my parents’ brief fixation on everyone in the family logging their thoughts in a physical journal, but I feel a bit better having written out my reasoning for doing what I’ve done. The next communication I get from them, IF they send one, will be laden with hurt, betrayal, and guilt, but one day they’ll see that I made the right choice. I think?

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